1. Big companies don't do business via chain letter.
Bill Gates is not  giving you $1000, and Disney is not giving you a
free vacation. There is no baby food company issuing class-action
checks.

MTV will not  give you backstage passes if you forward something
to the most people.

You can relax; there is no need to pass it on "just in case it's true."
Furthermore, just because someone said in the message,
four generations back, that "we checked it out and it's legit,"
does not actually make it true.

2. There is no kidney theft ring in New Orleans. No one is waking up in
a bathtub full of ice, even if a friend of a friend swears it happened to
their cousin. If you are hell-bent on believing the kidney-theft ring stories, please see:

http://urbanlegends.tqn.com/library/weekly/aa062997.htm

And I quote: "The National Kidney Foundation has repeatedly issued
requests for actual victims of organ thieves to come forward and tell
their stories.  None have." That's "none" as in "zero."
Not even your friend's cousin.  Besides, if you were to wake up in ice, you
would die of hypothermia.

3. Neiman Marcus doesn't really sell a $200 cookie recipe.
And even if they do, we all have it. And even if you don't,
you can get a copy at:
       http://www.bl.net/forwards/cookie.html.
Then, if you make the  recipe, decide the cookies
are that awesome,  feel free to pass the recipe on.

4. If the latest NASA rocket disaster(s) did contain plutonium that went
    to particulate over the eastern seaboard, do you really think this
    information would reach the public via an AOL chain-letter?

5. There is no "Good Times" virus. In fact, you should never, ever, ever
    forward any email containing any virus warning unless you first confirm
    it at an actual site of an actual company that actually deals with viruses.
    Try: http://www.norton.com  And even then, don't forward it. We don't
    care. And you cannot get  a virus from a flashing IM or email, you
    have to download something, like a file.

6. If your CC: list is regularly longer than the actual content of your message,
you need to write more.

7. If you're using Outlook, Internet Explorer, or Netscape to write email,
    turn off the "HTML encoding." Those of us on Unix shells can't read it,
    and don't care enough to save the attachment and then view it with a
    web browser, since you're probably forwarding us a copy of the Neiman
   Marcus Cookie Recipe anyway.

8. If you still absolutely MUST forward that 10th-generation message from
    a friend, at least have the decency to trim the eight miles of headers
    showing everyone else who's received it over the last 6 months. And, it
    sure wouldn't hurt to get rid of all the "" (or the >>>>>) that begin
    each line.  Besides, if it has gone around that many times -- we've
    probably already seen it.

9. Craig Shergold (or Sherwood, or Sherman, etc.) in England is not dying
    of cancer or anything else at this time and would like everyone to stop
    sending him their business cards.  He apparently is also no longer a
    "little boy" either.

10. The "Make a Wish" foundation is a real organization doing fine work,
but they have had to establish a special toll free hotline in response to the
large number of Internet hoaxes using their good name and reputation.
It is  distracting them from the important work they do.

11. If you are one of those insufferable idiots who forwards anything that
    promises "something bad will happen if you don't," then something bad
    will happen to you if I ever meet you in a dark alley.

12. Women really are suffering in Afghanistan, and PBS and NEA funding are
still vulnerable to attack (although not at the present time) but forwarding an email
won't help either cause in the least.

As a general rule,
email "signatures" are easily faked and mean nothing  to anyone
with any power to do anything about whatever the petition is
complaining about.  (P.S. There is no bill pending before Congress
that will allow long distance companies to charge you for long distance
when using the Internet.)

Bottom Line...composing email or posting something on the Net is as
easy as writing on the walls of a public restroom.

Don't automatically believe it; unless it's proven true...assume it's
false.

Now, forward this message to ten friends and you will win the Stupid
Publishers Stinkin' Clearing House sweepstakes.