10 Ways to Terrorize a Telemarketer
>
> 10. When they ask "How are you today?" Tell them! "I'm so
> glad you asked because no one these days seems to care,
> and I have all these problems; my arthritis is acting up,
> my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died..."
> 9. If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them
> to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company
> name. Then ask them where it is located. Continue asking
> them personal questions or questions about their
> company for as long as necessary.
> 8. Cry out in surprise, "Judy! Is that you? Oh my God! Judy,
> how have you been?" Hopefully, this will give Judy a few
> brief moments of pause as she tries to figure out where
> the h--l she could know you from.
> 7. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and
> Friends Plan, reply, in as SINISTER a voice as you can, "I
> don't have any friends ... would you be my friend?"
> 6. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed
> for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.
> 5. Tell the telemarketer you are on "home incarceration" and
> ask if they could bring you a case of beer and some chips
> 4. After the telemarketer gives their spiel, ask him/her to
> marry you. When they get all flustered, tell them that you
> could not just give your credit card number to a complete
> stranger.
> 3. Tell the telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask
> them if they will give you their HOME phone number so
> you can call them back. When the telemarketer explains
> that they cannot give out their HOME number, you say "I
> guess you don't want anyone bothering you at home,
> right?" The telemarketer will agree and you say, "Now
> you know how I feel!" Say good bye - and Hang up.
> 2. Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a
> joke. "Come on Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how's
> your momma?"
>
> And first and foremost:
>
1. Tell them to talk VERY SLOWLY, because you want to write EVERY WORD
down.