>Even if you aren't a skier, you'll be able to appreciate the humor
>of the slopes as written by a New Orleans paper.
>
> "A friend just got back from a holiday sking trip to Utah with the
kind
>of story that warms the cockles of anybody's heart. Conditions were
>perfect, 12 below, no feeling in the toes, basic numbness all over,
the
>"tell me when we're having fun" kind of day.
>
>One of the women in the group complained to her husband that she
>was in dire need of a restroom. He told her not to worry, that he
was
>sure there was relief waiting at the top of the lift in the form of
a powder
>room for female skiers in distress. He was wrong, of course, and the
>pain did not go away.
>
>If you've ever had nature hit its panic button in you, then you know
>that a temperature of 12 below, doesn't help matters. So, with time
>running out, the woman weighed her options.
>
>Her husband, picking up on the intensity of the pain, suggested that
>since she was wearing an all-white ski outfit, she should go off in
the
>woods and no one would even notice, he assured her. The white will
>provide more than adequate camouflage. So she headed for the tree
>line, began lowering her ski pants, proceeded to do her thing. If
you've
>ever parked on the side of a slope, then you know there is a right
way
>and wrong way to set your skis so you don't move. Yup, you got it!!!
>She had them positioned the wrong way. Steep slopes are not forgiving,
>even during the most embarrassing moments.
>
>Without warning, the woman found herself skiing backward, out-of-control,
>racing through the trees, somehow missing all of them and into another
>slope. Her derriere and the reverse side were still bare, her pants
>down around her knees, and she was picking up speed all the while.
She
>continued backwards, totally out-of-control, creating an unusual vista
>for the other skiers.
>
>The woman skied, back under the lift, and finally collided violently
with
>a pylon. The bad news was that she broke her arm and was unable to
>pull up her ski pants. At long last her husband arrived, put an end
to
>her nudie show, then summoning the ski patrol.
>
> They transported her to a hospital. While in the emergency room,
a
>man with an obviously broken leg was put in the bed next to hers.
>
> "So, how'd you break your leg?" she asked, making small talk. "It
>was the darndest thing you ever saw", he said. "I was riding up this
>ski lift and suddenly I couldn't believe my eyes. There was this crazy
>woman skiing backward out-of-control, down the mountain, with her
>bare bottom hanging out of her clothes and her pants down around her
>knees. I leaned over to get a better look and fell out of the lift."
>
> "So, how'd you break your arm?"
>